


Birdflash interviews

by sweetsoupmates



Category: DC Universe Online
Genre: Interviews, M/M, Sexual Themes, YouTube, batfam and birdflash, bruce is extremely disappointed, dick and wally are trolls, tik tok?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23054452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsoupmates/pseuds/sweetsoupmates
Summary: This is just basically Dick and Wally answering a bunch of questions as a couple. Some if these questions come from tik tok challanges. uh yeah that's it.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Wally West
Comments: 1
Kudos: 84





	Birdflash interviews

**Author's Note:**

> :^)
> 
> this is really dumb I'm sorry.

Wally grinned as he finally got the camara to focus. "Hey guys!" he started off enthusiastically, speaking to nobody but his camera. "I'm Wally West, and this is my boyfriend Dick Grayson, who many of you should know, as he's kinda like a celebrity or something" Dick glanced up from his phone to give the camera a small wave and a charming smile. "And this is our first YouTube video!" Wally finished, throwing his arm around Dick.

"Yayyyy" said Dick sarcastically, before laughing and giving Wally a quick kiss on his cheek to take away the wounded look on his face.

"Ew" Wally cringed, before turning back to the camera. "So our first video is just going to be answering a bunch of questions I stole from TikTok."

"Basically we could have just made a Tiktok but Wally is too extra and is forcing me to sit and talk to a camara."

"Yeah because you're a great performer in front of a camera. I would know, am I right? ge said suggestively, elbowing Dick.

"Dude piss off" Dick responded, seemingly angry, before he added, just as suggestively, "nobody needs to know that."

There was an intense staring battle between the two, before Wally interrupted the silence by continuing the video. "Anyway! First question is, who initiated the first kiss?"

"Uhhhh..."

"Shit dude I don't know? Both of us?"

"Yeah I guess. I mean it was heat of the moment, we were both drunk and it was so long ago."

"Yeah we were still kids." (*1)

"..... It was probably me though." Dick said thoughtfully.

"What? No way dude. If it was one of us it would have been me."

"Ok ok wait, that kiss doesn't count."

"What do you mean it doesn't count? it was our first kiss!" Wally interrupted.

"Well I mean we were kids and drunk, and we don't know who started the kiss, and uh yeah. Our first should be considered the one at that party at Gotham university, when we played spin the bottle. And I initiated that kiss, so...."

"But that wasn't our first kiss." Wally said, dumbfounded.

"It might as well have been. Drunk kisses don't count, cause when you drunk you don't really know what you're doing." Dick pressed on, trying his hardest to prove a point.

"We were still drink when we played spin-the-bottle! How is it any different?!"

"Because we were less drunk. And older and more mature."

Wally gave him a look that said "are you fucking stupid?" before looking back at the camera and continuing.  
"Anyway, next question." He ignored Dick's smug look that implied he thought he won the argument. Wally knew better than to continue the arguement.  
"Who apologises first after a fight? And before you say anything, and don't you DARE argue dude, it's me."

"....... ok yeah I'll give you that."

"Thank you. Ok, who is the funny one?"

"Wally. In like a really stupid way though, so don't take that as a compliment."

"Aww thanks man, that's sweet. Yeah Dick's really funny but I'd consider myself to be funnier. So me."

"I fell for his humor and his humbleness." Dick said, the sarcasm dripping from his voice affecting Wally in no way whatsoever, if you the bright smile and noogie on his head said anything.  
"Fuck off man!" Dick ~~squealed~~ huffed, pushing Wally away and running his fingers through his hair trying to smooth it.

"Next question!" Wally continued, gathering himself after his near fall. "Who is more romantic?"

"Wally. Definitely Wally."

"Yeah I'm a big romantic. Which kinda sucks since Dick hates romance."

"Eeugh. Romance is ok I guess, but wally is just so CHEESY, it's sickening. Like why would you waste money on flowers or dates at fancy restuarant when it's way more fun to stay in, eat takeout and play video games?"

"Because I want to show you how much I love you! And shower you in my love by taking you stargazing, and making a delicious candle lit dinner for you, and making a path of roses to the bedroom, and cuddling you and calling you pet names.."

"Gross. That's fucking gay man. Am I supposed to swoon or something?"

"Isn't he lovely?" Wally deadpanned to the camera. "I'm not even allowed to use pet names."

"I let you use babe! You just can't call me baby or honey or any of those disgusting names."

"The things you have to give up for love." Wally sighed.

Dick rolled his eyes and grabbed Wally's phone, reading out the next question. "Who is the most patient? Oh that's definitely me."

"Yeah I'd say you too."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. But that's not to say Dick isn't impatient as well, I'm just.... slightly less patient."

"Especially when it comes to food."

"True. Next question?"

"Who's the better cook? ...shit. Wally."

"Definently me. Dick can not cook to save his life."

"That's not true, I make a mean bowl of cereal."

"That's not cooking. You literally cannot even use the microwave without burning something. We had to live in the manor because you somehow managed to burn down our kitchen using a toaster. A TOASTER."

"That toaster was defective! It wasn't my fault." Dick pouted.

"Of course Dickie, I know it wasn't." Wally comforted Dick, hugging him and petting his hair. "But I'm still the better cook." he added cheekily, before snatching his phone back to read the next question. "Who said I love you first? And not counting before we were dating, so me."

"Yeah Wally said it first. I mean it wasn't SUCH a big deal since we had already said it mult-"

"I said before dating didn't count."

"Yeah but we both knew we loved eachother."

"But not romantically."

"Was it not obvious? I mean we had said it before and since we were dating..."

"It's not the same Dick!"

"Ok! I'm sorry! It was super sweet and romantic and I cried."

"Thank you. Ok, who takes longer to get ready in the morning. I'll let you answer this question. Here's a hint, it's not me."

"I'm sorry I try to make myself look nice."

"No, you spend most of your time complaining, showering and actually leaving the bed. About a quarter of the time is spent actually getting ready."

"That's a bit of an exaggeration."

"If anything it's an under exaggeration. Oh, and follow up question is, who is grumpier in the morning? My lovely viewers, take a wild fucking guess."

"I'm sorry we're not all perfect. And actually, my morning routine would be a lot shorter, and I wouldn't be as late as often, if SOMEONE, didn't make me deal with their morning wood every. single. morning."

"MOVING ON! Who's more stubborn? And the answer is, Dick."

"Wally."

"Dick."

"Wally."

"Dick."

"Wally." 

"Dick."

"Wally."

"Dick."

"Wally."

"Yeah I really don't have time for this."

"Ha! I win. Told you it was Wally."

"You literally just proved yourself wrong babe." 

"It's Wally."

"Are you finished?"

"Only when you admit that it's you." said Dick smugly.

"...... Moving on! Who's the bigger baby when sick?"

"Ok yeah me. But only because you're hardly ever sick."

"Because I've got a strong immune system baby! Since I actually take care of myself."

"Pffft. Right."

"Who is the social butterfly?" Wally continued, completely ignoring Dick's comment.

"We're both pretty social."

"Well I mean we basically only go out together. So, both of us?"

"Yeah both of us."

"Look at us, agreeing on the same things. Isn't it romantic?"

"Shut up."

"Shut me up."

"Smooth West." Dick snorted, but complied anyway, with a kiss way too short for Wally's liking, which almost led to him starting a full on makeout session on screen if Dick hadn't pushed him away. "Later." Dick winked, taking the phone leaving Wally pretty flustered. "Who is the messy one?"

"In bed: Dick." said Wally winking, apparently haven recovered and gotten back to flirting.

Dick gave him a look of absolute disgust, before talking again as if Wally had not said that. "Wally's actually a neat freak, but I don't really have time for cleaning and that shit, so me."

"Yeah, Dick's a dirty little boy."

"Dude what the FUCK?" Can you never keep it to yourself?"

"Sorry babe but I just can't control myself around you."

"You know Alfred's gonna see this right?"

"It's ok, Alfred loves me."

"Not enough to not kill you. Last question, who sends the most money? Wait what?"

"Do people do that?"

"Why would we send eachother money?" 

"Although I guess you, since Bruce gave us that Debit Card." Wally suggested.

"But we don't use that."

"Except for food."

"That doesn't count. Besides, the money's not from me it's from Bruce. We share all our money. Even though I earn more than Wally."

"I'm sorry I'm still in school! Also how does food not count?" 

"Because your appetite is basically a charity, and we all know Bruce Wayne lives for charities. Not that that's a bad thing, he's a great man. Anyway, that was all the questions, so I guess this is when the video ends?"

"Dude you suck at this. What he means is, don't forget to like and subscribe and all that shit. This is Dick and Wally, signing out."

"Dick and Wally signing out? Seriously? That's so lame." Dick sneered.

"BYEEEEE!!!!" 

**Author's Note:**

> *1- reference to my fic "Drunkem Confessions". You should go check it out!
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos and comments are appreciated :)


End file.
